Confessions of a fashionista: Thank goodness 'drunken December' is over

Thank goodness it's January and my fellow fashionistas are detoxing. I didn't think I'd make it through 'Drunken December' with all my tipsy colleagues.
What happens if you eat nothing all day and then drink lots of alcohol?  You get drunk.  Fast.  This is not rocket science, the effects of drinking on an empty stomach are well known.  But each year fashionistas still do it. 
They starve themselves for the Christmas parties - chopped raw carrot with black pepper for lunch anyone?  Down gallons of free champagne or clear spirits (less calories) and surprise, surprise, every year they get stinking drunk.

Doing the walk of shame in style: A still from Harvey Nichols' infamous Christmas advert shows a model in a demure, chic Roland Mouret dress

This Christmas felt worse, more frenzied, more wasted, more debauched.  One model booker told me: 'It was crazy.  2011 was a tough year, budgets were smaller, there was less work around, and everyone needed to let off steam.'
And boy, were they steaming! 
Early December I had to get staff at a private members' club to remove a bathroom door to reach my semi-conscious colleague inside. 

 

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She was lying on the dirty floor in her £600 Isabel Marant dress, mumbling about diet coke.  It took a £50 bribe before I could get a taxi driver to agree to take her home.
Then there was the morning I arrived at my office, the day after a party, to discover the taps had been removed from the ladies' toilet sinks to make a rudimentary bong.  We washed our hands in Evian until the plumber came to fix them.

...but lots of fashionistas looked more like this last month

And I can't forget the sight of my married boss, in a bar in Mayfair, straddling and energetically snogging the manager of a famous girl band.  I didn't know where to look.  In fact, I didn't know where to look for the whole of December.  It was just one smashed fashionista after another.
My industry colleagues had raised a wry smile at Harvey Nichols' 'walk of shame' advert, which depicted girls staggering home in the early hours of the morning in inappropriate micro dresses from the night before.

One thing you won't have spotted fashion-conscious people doing is eating a kebab... Think of the calories, darling. Awful

Us fashionistas associated with the final, polished girl who wafts past the milkman in a demure, chic Roland Mouret dress, doing the stride of pride. 
My workmates may have been in top designer togs, but they still fell over outside clubs, stumbled past morning joggers and puked in the street. 
Though, unlike one of the walk of shame girls in the advert, I didn't see any of them eat a kebab.  No matter how much my colleagues drank they wouldn't do that.
Think of the calories, darling.  Awful.